"They're killing me!  They're killing me!"

I was in the hospital (again),  on the critical care floor, about 10 days ago.

 
Early morning, and I hear the very old lady in the room next to me, scream over and over: "SOMEBODY HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME! THEY'RE KILLING ME. THEY'RE KILLING ME!"

Then a voice, a hospital attendant, who is rolling an empty wheelchair into the lady's room.

I hear the attendant say: "HI!!! ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR STRESS TEST?"

A visitor in the woman's room yells "STRESS TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE'S ALMOST DEAD!"

"Uuuuup, this isn't (Room) 301 (my room), now is it?," the attendant says.

Wheeling ME down for the stress test, I ask the attendant how she likes things after the recent hospital merger.

 "I've been working here 40 years," she replies. 

I thought: "That's exactly what I was afraid of."